Recent statistics say that half of all women and one quarter of all men will experience recognised periods of depression in their life time.
But I think the word depression has found its way into our vocabulary in some unhelpful ways:
We might say ‘isn’t it a depressing day‘ when we really mean ‘I don’t like this weather,’ or ‘this job is so depressing‘ when all we mean is, we’re bored. What about ‘I’m depressed at having to go to my in-laws for lunch‘ when really we might just be angry about it. So first of all, ‘watch your language!’
Get specific with your internal narrative. Using the accurate definition for your feelings will mean that you can generate some relative options for addressing how you feel and helpful actions are more likely to occur.
For some, depression is all too real; it is an extremely strong emotion which stimulates black and white thinking that in turn encourages more and more emotionally arousing introspection. Not only does the depressed person think too much, neuroscience tells us they dream too much as well!
This introspection, when awake and when asleep, uses vast reserves of energy, leaving their system depleted and unable to engage with everyday activities.
This statement describes the visceral impact of depression. ‘No amount of love from or for other people – and there was a lot – could help. No advantage of a caring family and fabulous job was enough to overcome the pain and hopelessness I felt; no passionate or romantic love, however strong, could make a difference. Nothing alive and warm could make its way in through my carapace’ ~ From Night Falls Fast by Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison
If genuinely depressed, you are likely to experience symptoms like these:
- feeling unhappy most of the time (but may feel a little better in the evenings)
- loss of interest in life and can’t enjoy anything
- find it harder to make decisions
- can’t cope with things that you used to
- feel utterly tired
- feel restless and agitated
- loss of appetite and weight (although some people find they do the reverse and put on weight)
- take 1-2 hours to get off to sleep, and then wake up earlier than usual
- lose interest in sex
- lose your self-confidence
- feel useless, inadequate and hopeless
- avoid other people
- feel irritable
- feel worse at a particular time each day, usually in the morning
- perhaps even think of suicide.
If you are experiencing more than two of these things for more than two weeks, talk to someone you trust and plan to see your GP.
We’ve all heard of the mythical money tree (my children spent an interesting summer many years ago, searching the garden of everyone we knew in their quest for this particular treasure!). But how about a happiness tree? I believe if there was a happiness tree, then the roots of it would consist of these four hormones and chemicals: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins.
Many of the tested and prescribed medications for depression are synthetic attempts at producing or regulating these four things. The good news I have, is that because we are wonderfully made by an awesome Creator God (psalm 139), our bodies can produce sufficient levels of these hormones and chemicals through natural means, so lifting our mood and aiding us in maintaining a realistic yet positive perception of life. Let’s take a look:
- Dopamine motivates us to take action toward goals, desires, and needs, and gives a surge of reinforcing pleasure when achieving them. Procrastination, self-doubt, and lack of enthusiasm are linked with low levels of dopamine.
- Break big goals down into little pieces — rather than only allowing our brains to celebrate when we’ve hit the finish line, we can create a series of little finish lines which releases dopamine. And it’s crucial to actually celebrate these incremental successes .
- Create new goals before achieving your current one. That ensures a continual flow for experiencing dopamine
- Oxytocin. Often referred to as the cuddle hormone, a simple way to keep oxytocin flowing is to give someone a hug or a handshake; someone safe of course. Inter-personal touch not only raises oxytocin, but reduces cardiovascular stress and improves the immune system; Research has also demonstrated that oxytocin works particularly in combination with social support.
- Oxytocin is also released with breast feeding and orgasms
- When someone receives a gift, their oxytocin levels can rise. You can strengthen work and personal relationships through simple gift giving. Get creative; how many ways can you think to give someone a gift that costs little or no money?
- Serotonin flows when you feel significant or important. Loneliness and depression appears when serotonin is absent and most antidepressants focus on the production of serotonin.
- Reflecting on past significant achievements allows the brain to re-live the experience.. They remind us that we are valued and have much to value in life. If you need a serotonin boost during a stressful day, take a few moments to reflect on a past achievements and victories. This is a better use of your brain and memory than reliving painful situations and hurtful events
- Have lunch or coffee outside or go for a walk and expose yourself to the sun (or if not the sun, even just the dull norn iron climate we know and love!) for 20 minutes; our skin absorbs UV rays, even on a cloudy day which promotes vitamin D and serotonin production.
- Endorphins are released in response to pain and stress and help to alleviate anxiety and depression, another example of how wonderfully made we are.
- Along with regular exercise, laughter is one of the easiest ways to induce endorphin release. Even the anticipation and expectation of laugher, e.g., attending a comedy show, increases levels of endorphins. Taking your sense of humour to work, forwarding that funny email, and finding several things to laugh at during the day is a great way to keep the doctor away.
- The smell of vanilla and lavender has been linked with the production of endorphins. Studies have shown that dark chocolate and spicy foods can lead the brain to release endorphins. Keep some dark chocolate at your desk and some chilli in your kitchen for a quick endorphin boost. And boys, stop complaining about those wonderful scented candles – they might actually be good for you!
Also check out these mood enhancing foods and find ways to incorporate them into your daily diet:
If you are trying to help and support someone with depression, please keep going. Coming alongside with patience and respect is a great gift to give.
And if you are experiencing depression yourself, please keep going. These thoughts and feelings are temporary even though they can sometimes be all consuming.
We will all benefit if we practice listening…real listening is a task that requires focus in the here and now and is really good for our brain.
Practice listening like this:
L look interested and get interested
I involve yourself by responding genuinely
S stay on target
T test your understanding of what’s being said by repeating what you hear from time to time
E evaluate the message (what is the underlying meaning of what you are hearing)
N neutralise your own feelings (it’s not about you)
Below is a typical inspirational poster but I believe the wisdom is paralleled and maybe even borrowed from Paul’s teaching in the New Testament. I encourage all of us to choose wisely what we allow to occupy our thoughts. We can take control of our thinking in a powerful way because of the marvellous brain we have that God himself has designed.
In Tolkien’s classic The Hobbit, Gandalf says ‘Saruman believes that its only great power that can hold evil in check but I find it’s the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay; simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins, perhaps it’s because I’m afraid but he gives me courage.’
I wonder can we engage in some simple act of love and kindness today and keep the darkness of depression and fear at bay and give courage to someone we know?
Article by Phyllis Coulter
